3 Comments

1. Wylde

   Posted April 5, 2011 at 7:42 PM

   One thing I notice about women that they have this strange sort of expectation, a sort of “tit-for-tat” kind of thing, where “I do this, so you do that,” kind of thing. I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but I’ve dated my share of women and they always demand this kind of thing, whereas men don’t really do that.

   Men don’t play “tit-for-tat” all the time. We see a job that’s in our responsibility to do, and we do it. No fuss, no argument. Indeed, we often just do it without being told.

   A case in point was my own mother trying to impose dishwashing duties on my Dad and me just because she cooked. Well, we would do it anyway, but that wasn’t the point. My Mom, I love her, but she applied this attitude to everything, and it turned out she can be a real slob because she thinks every activity she does should be equalized by an activity we do.

   And I found she wasn’t the only one. Every woman I’ve ever gone out with felt the same way. She cooks, I clean. Where the hell is that written? When I cook, I clean. My current girlfriend was pleased that not only did I cook a fancy dinner (I have learned much from Food Network) but I cleaned afterward, and she felt that I needed special treatment as a reward.

   But I stopped her.

   Yes, I stopped her. Why?

   Because I didn’t want her to reward me based on what I do for her, but if she loved me.

   Sex and love shouldn’t be about a “give me this and I give you that” kind of thing, but a giving sort of arrangement that cherishes the person you love.

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   • Witold in reply to Wylde

     Posted July 18, 2011 at 12:02 AM

     I observed similar behaviour with my sister. She would also constantly reduce her guilt when she would do something bad by referring to me. For example:
     Dad: Why did you do this?
     Sis: But he did X 2 weeks ago!

     Where the hell does it come from? How come anything bad woman does is justified by some ancient wrongdoings of men? This stretches from my little sister to the women I dated. They are never the cause, it is always mans fault no matter how outlandish the connection is.

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2. Wylde

   Posted November 7, 2011 at 11:32 PM

   It’s worth looking into, I think. I don’t know where it comes from, but I suspect childhood had something to do with it.

   However, what I also notice is that women, like men, like to see some positive results from the work they do. But it matters to them just how positive. With my mother, for instance, she felt that by virtue of her cooking that translates to us bearing some burden of the housework. Women use this kind of logic: If I love you, I do this, and if you love me you’ll do that.

   Men, on the other hand, don’t see doing something necessarily as an act of love, but as something that needs to be done. When I see something that I want done, I do it, or have it gotten done somehow. When I lived with a roommate during the Army and in university, we never had this strange expectation. We cleaned when we did because it needed to be done; especially in the Army. Because if we had this sort of expectation of tit-for-tat in the Army, we would’ve been horribly chewed out by our superiors every time there was a room inspection because nothing would get done.

   I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a neat-freak, but my sister can bring her newborn baby to my condo anytime and not be worried that he’ll catch a germ from walking around on my hardwood floors.

   But I contrast that with some of the pig-sty’s some of my girlfriends have had. A lot of the reasons why I dumped a woman was because her bathroom was atrocious. I mean very gross. Where my toilets at my place are good enough to eat off of, I twice had to refuse to stay overnight at a girlfriend’s flat for fear of my own health. I can’t afford to be sick.

   Sometimes I think women are just looking for some man to take care of them.

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